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I awoke,
one morning,
from shades of sleep,
to find my world had changed ...
the ground on which I had always placed my feet,
had subtly shifted with the darkness.
the firm beliefs and solid suppositions
that ordered my daily decisions ...
had evaporated before my eyes ...
the images of God
which sketched my thoughts
and traced my days
now seemed anachronistic to my mind ...
comfortable pillows
that held my head
and spoke of warm security
in familiar ways
were slipping silently from my bed ...
the props I used
to keep me strong
now seemed obsolete
and strangely out of synchronization.
submerged in pools of doubt
lies the buoys I’d worn
to hold me up in times of trial.
caught and helpless,
uprooted and airborne,
I existed ...
dangling in space
between the old
and the new ...
one eye was fixed with longing to the past,
the other,
with an urgent expectancy,
to what might lie ahead ...
one hand was clutching
at what had been so easy and certain,
the other,
grasped at might fill
the freshly-opened void.
I had a new space within myself
which I had not discerned before ...
it begged designs to form its cast.
a voice emerged deep in my heart
which called me to an alien land.
it tugged and pulled
and bade me come
to risk and grow
in tune with it.
I felt the promise
of a more profound love
and communion with divinity ...
if I could only
shirk my fear
and put my trust
in what beckoned me ...
- Ruth McLean
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